Advent Relfection #7 - In My Own Words

Well, I really and truly intended on reflecting all throughout the Advent season using Rolheiser's booklet. Getting sick interrupted that and then when I tried to get back to it I just couldn't find any inspiration in his words.

So I decided to go "off book" as we say in the theatre world and just reflect on the season in my own words.

As we all know Advent is a season of waiting... waiting for Christ's coming into the World to save us from our sin. Unfortunately the waiting ends up more like waiting in line at the store, waiting for the Christmas cookies to come out of the oven, waiting for the gifts we ordered from Amazon to be delivered, waiting for the snowplows to clear the roads so we can head to work...

I suppose if we are truly Christ-centered we can find in those moments of waiting an opportunity to be still and have a conversation with God, but when was the last time any one of us stood in the check-out line in Target and talked -- or better yet, listened -- to God?

Praying is usually reserved for bedtime, or more often sitting in the pew at church on Sunday (if we go at all). The rest of our day is filled with busyness... busyness that may seem vitally important at that time, but in reflecting upon the day all that breathless importance really is mostly just like any other day. Is there not a few minutes in the day to have an intimate moment with God? Perhaps after we have waited in line at Starbucks for that floofy coffee drink we can wait a few more moments and sit down to enjoy it and enjoy a chat with Christ at the same time?

While we are waiting for Christ's coming again on Christmas Day perhaps we can let the World wait from time to time while we reacquaint ourselves with Him and strengthen our relationship with Him...

Advent Reflection #6 - Passion and Purity

In this reflection Rolheiser compares the Church's caution and fearfulness of passion versus the World's disdain of purity. He says:

Purity and passion make sense only when they are linked and take their deeper
meaning from each other.

In my family, that translates to "Everything in moderation." Good words to live by!

What I really found curious, though, is that he makes no mention of Christ's passion. Passion is more than just sexual love or lust. Passion is loving something or someone so deeply that you undergo an ordeal that is physical or emotional. Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to suffer on the cross for us. I think that while we wait for His coming as a small "pure" infant during Advent that we should also keep in mind His "passionate" suffering for us during the Easter mysteries.

Credit: Image of Shades of Love - Cherry by Alfred Gockel

Advent Reflection #5 - The Power of a Candle

Well, since I'm behind a week I had a few different topics from which to choose, but I decided that I connected best with these two reflections.

Rolheiser describes first how "South Africans prior to the abolition of apartheid would light candles and place them in their windows as a sign of hope, a sign that one day this injustice would be overcome." Light and Hope -- or HOPE, as some of us write -- are things I know!

When our group of friends say "I'll light a beacon for you" or ask "Please light a beacon for me," we all understand that this simple light -- whether literal or figurative -- means that we have offered up a prayer, a good thought, a special intention for those in need. If we all lived close enough we would light a signal fire across the miles to send out for aid. This is imagery used by Peter Jackson in the Lord of the Rings films that while illuminating Tolkien's great work, also speaks to the audience of an age-old custom used by allies and vassals. It's imagery we all understand. To continue the theme, Galadriel gives Frodo a phial of light from the star Ëarendil to shine a light in the "dark places of the world."

To those of us who share a Christian belief, Christ is that Light. His coming illuminates those "dark places of the world." In Advent we wait for that light to kindle in the sky, the Star in the East. He comes to our aid.

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Oh my Lord... Nyquil is a scary-effective medicine! It put me so far under last night that I'm still trying to swim through the layers of sleep today... lol!

Anyway, sorry for the brief hiatus. I was felled by some sort of virus that kept me in bed for nearly four whole days. I'm much better now, despite my Nyquil hang-over -- so it's back to blogging!

Advent Reflection #4 - The Algebra of Advent

This particular reading was all over the board for me. First of all, the title... The Algebra of Advent... I was not good at math (I got through okay, I just don't come naturally to it). I liked algebra better than geometry, but honestly I would've rather been sitting under a tree reading Louisa Mae Alcott at that time than figuring out higher math functions! And frankly, after reading this reflection I'm not sure what the title really means for this article. Rolheiser mentions it at the end, but nothing in his musings compared Advent to Algebra as far as I could tell. But then again, I don't remember much of anything on that topic except: x+y=z, or some such nonsense. Perhaps his reasoning is also on that higher math plane that I can't (and don't really want) to follow.

Then he mentions the book, The Bridges of Madison County (Or rather, the movie adaptation of it). This second reference shut me down further. I apologize to anyone who loves this book, but I couldn't believe this poorly-written, self-imposing book was a best-seller. I understand the appeal of a good romance between two lovers who can not be together -- trust me, ALL too well! I just found this skimpy book trite and an unnecessary waste of an hour of my time (it's a fast read, thank God!). Though I love Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood, I did not bother to see the movie. So, I wasn't predisposed to read and ponder too closely.

And then Roheiser talks about sex again and how waiting for it is sublime! I almost physically threw my hands up in the air with exasperation. Ok, Ron, we get it! Waiting is good! Did he write this for teens??

So, I'm not pondering any of those premises. Instead I decided on the one sentence that actually was pertinent to me:

Can anyone paint a masterpiece or compose a great symphony in a couple of hours?

The reason that this hit home for me is I've been pondering a lot recently about my ongoing struggle to get one of my novels published. Although struggle is perhaps too strong a word. I really haven't done much of anything "to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again" after my first publisher closed its Young Adult (YA) line and then went belly up.

Sure, I scan the publishing sites now and again. I've even pursued self-publishing to a small extent (I emailed asking for more info -- they seem wary to give it until you pony up some cash, methinks). And I HAVE been writing. Not as consistenly as I want or should, but I have more than half-a-dozen imcomplete manuscripts to show for it.

Advent is about waiting, but this is the wrong kind of waiting. Writing is about doing. A publishing contract is not going to plop down in my lap -- though I wouldn't turn it down if it would, Lord! lol! I've discovered that writing is so much more than creating the story and putting it down on paper (or a Word document). Every moment of it once the story is done is about self-promotion. To a "good Catholic girl" who tries to be humble, this is very difficult!

I haven't had the "fire inside" like I've had in the past. I blame it on the cancer -- I've got to blame SOMEthing. But it's really no good. This is a goal that I'm not ready to give up on yet. I need to visualize my novel going to print and its success with the readers -- but MOST importantly I need to spend time on it. I need to go to publshing sites to find out their submission guidelines and start working towards re-submitting this novel!

And yet, that takes time. So it's still a waiting game. But it's not a stagnant one.

Advent Reflection #3 - Loneliness and Longing

This booklet is pushing all my buttons so far. I guess that's what it's supposed to do!

Rolheiser starts with a quote from Toni Morrison's Beloved:

"There is a loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive, on
its own. A dry and spreading thing that makes the sound of one's own feet going
seem to come from a far-off place."

Like much of Morrison's prose it terrifies me a little -- this loneliness sounds wreckless to me -- soul-less and unthinking . And yet, Rolheiser takes advantage of this loneliness:

"What's to be gleaned from our wandering? Has loneliness a design? Is there
a secret to be learned from our longing?



What we learn is that we are more: more than any moment in our lives, more
than any humiliation, more than any achievement, more than the limits of our
bodies, marriages, and jobs. Longing takes us beyond. It teaches us -- better
yet, it lets us touch through desire -- God's deep design for each of us. In the
end, our longings are about consummation, completeness, harmony, and justice. In
our longing, the mystics tell us, we intuit the Kingdom of God."

But are loneliness and longing the same thing? Yes, there is longing in the loneliness, but what about the other way 'round? Is there always loneliness in the longing? Perhaps. I don't know.

For myself, loneliness is feeling alone in an empty house or worrying about living on my own when my loved ones are gone. Longing is a very different feeling -- longing is the desire for intimacy, whether if it is with another person or with God. Granted one can be in a relationship, longing for a deeper connection with the other person and feel loneliness when that intimacy isn't returned; but can't both parties still have a longing for a deeper intimacy with the each other? Can't we long for that with God? For He longs for one with us. Is He lonely then?

Advent Reflection #2 - Healthy Chastity

Ok, so I can tell now that this booklet is going to take me places that I didn't expect. A reflection on chastity was not a topic that I looked for during Advent, but after reading the short section for Tuesday - The First Week of Advent I can see the connection.

Rolheiser says:

But a healthy chastity is not so much about sex as it is about reverence and
respect. It is not just about what we experience, but also about when we experience it. An experience can be wrong simply because
it is premature. Chastity, in the end, is about waiting, about trying to
carry all things, not just sex, at a more sublime level. To surround
anything with proper reverence is to say that it's important.

That's so true, isn't it? We're all about instant gratification. We want it all and we want it now... the coolest car, the biggest house, the trendiest clothes, the 100,00k job out of college... not to mention acting on our most primal urges. There seems not to be anything like courtship now -- sleep with a guy on the first or second date and if he doesn't suit you, or you don't suit him you move on to the next person. Is that intimacy? I don't see how it can be.

There is that old adage that still holds true, I think: "Good things come to those who wait." It's not just the thing that is good, it's the emotion that comes with it... that we've earned it through hard work or patience -- that it wasn't some fluke or stroke of luck. Because we earned it, it is ours!

So how does that translate to Advent? Why is the waiting good for us? We have God's love whether we truly earn it or not. This is His gift to us. Nor have we earned Christ's sacrifice on the cross for our salvation. Yet, we have it nevertheless.

Is it the feeling that if we wait and hope -- put in our time, as it were -- we might deserve such goodness?

Advent Reflection #1 - The Fire Inside

I'm actually combining my thoughts from the meditation for the First Sunday of Advent and Monday -- as usual I'm running behind!

It's kind of funny that the image I chose for my introductory blog on these reflections was such a frosty, desolate picture of trees. It's winter and yesterday and today were the first snowy days of the season -- it seemed natural to go with that image. Waiting can be lonely and cold and empty. My toes are cold as I write this...

So I open my booklet and what greets me? Images of fire! In the first meditation a quote begins the reading: "Saint John of the Cross in The Living Flame of Love compares our pre-Advent selves to green logs that have been thrown into a fire, the fire of love." But being young and green it takes awhile before we kindle and are lit into a burning flame of passion, whatever than passion might be.

But it's the second meditation that really spoke to me tonight:

The fire inside us comes from the way God made us, namely, to crave the
infinite and to be dissatisfied with everything else until that love is
consummated. Thus, the fire inside us will never be extinguished simply by
attaining the right partner, the right job, the right set of
friends, or the
right recognition. We will always be on fire.

Wow. How true is that? I don't know that I would have ever described it as being on fire, that waiting for those goals I'm hoping to attain -- perhaps some would? For being a "Scorpio," I'm decidedly unlike what that zodiac sign is supposed to be. That passion is not easily identifiable. I try to be easy-going and affable, considerate and open-minded. I try not to let single-mindedness get the better of me.

And yet... and yet, I understand the waiting for that one thing to make my world fall into place. I feel like I'm marking time, heading in the right direction but not making much progress. Perhaps it's not so much a lack of passion (for I do have many goals), but that I'm still that green log that has been thrown into the fire of love?? And what's even more unsettling... once that passion has been kindled within me, I will always be on fire!

Honestly, that's both frightening and exhilarating at the same time! I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight with that simmering beneath the surface of my soul?

Advent Thoughts

Well, judging from the date of the last post it's been way too long since I've been here to write. I have been writing -- NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) was last month and any spare time writing went to that endeavor. But that's a whole 'nother blog!

Anyway, I've been wanting to make time for this, and Advent has given me the perfect opportunity to do so. Every liturgical season at our parish, we are provided with small booklets of mediations for the season. Some years I'm better at reading and meditating than others, but this particular year with all the stresses that seem camped out on everyone's door I decided that I wanted to take it slowly towards the holidays. I really love the Advent season, the anticipation of Christmas and Christ's coming once again to us as a small infant. Naturally real life will intrude... bills must be paid, gifts must be purchased, baking must be undertaken, parties must be attended, work must continue... and most of that is supposed to be fun!

So, I'm taking a breath each night. I'm taking a few quiet moments to read my booklet. And if the Spirit moves me, I will try to muse on the theme of the day. Keeping in mind, of course, I am no theologian or even necessarily completely knowledgeable about faith teachings. These are my thoughts, how ever shallow or deep, simple or complex, pure or conflicted... this is my journey of faith, but I do encourage thoughtful comments if there are those out there who feel so moved.

By the way, the booklet I am working from is: Daybreaks - Daily Reflections for Advent and Christmas by Ron Rolheiser, OMI