I've been thinking about this topic for sometime, and I apologize if it ends up being all over the map when it comes to putting my thoughts down in some coherent form. This past holiday weekend has been wonderful, and I am reminded even more on such days how grateful I am to have a loving, generous family. In this gratitude, especially as the end of the year looms, I can't help but ponder why it's so difficult for people to be nice to one another during other times of the year.
Of course, I realize that everyone has his or her trials and burdens; and they can be very difficult to overcome. I do not make light of that at all. I have certainly undergone my own trials in this life; and yet... I hope that those burdens or stresses have not allowed me to take my frustration out on others by being rude or hateful or judgmental. I'm not perfect, and I know that I am bound to have hurt someone's feelings along the way, though it was never my intent. (I'm really sorry, by the way!)
I am wondering more about our society as a whole allowing incivility and stinginess to prevail over being well-mannered and generous. When did that get to be okay? It's demeaning on every level, and no one likes being humiliated. Not only is it often allowed, it is also accepted... many people believing somehow that they are deserving of such scorn! How did that happen?
Now I know that when it comes to the psyche there are a lot more issues than having your pigtails tugged in school by a boy who kind of likes you. Bullying is very real and devastating , and done both by family members and classmates. As a society we are outraged when we hear of such treatment, especially when it forces the person being bullied to feel they have no other way out but suicide or even homicide. We only have to watch the myriad of "It Gets Better" videos to know such loss of life touches us.
But there is a subtler kind of intimidation that goes on that is completely condoned... or at least ignored. We are bombarded by such images and messages each and every day. Take, for instance, the news... it doesn't matter if it's one of the cable news channels or the local stations, the viewer is subjected to sneering pundits and obnoxious ambulance chasers masquerading as "investigative" reporters. They purport to be giving us newsworthy information or informing us about the "issues." I find it to be neither. Rather we are subjected to intrusive and sometimes ridiculous questioning of individuals taken unaware at their homes and places of business with "Do you still beat your wife" kind of interrogations. Whether or not the individual is "guilty" of some crime is irrelevant, so long as they are taken by surprise with such tactics. Honestly, would anyone look innocent with a microphone shoved in one's face and badgered with such questions?? As for the cable news talking heads... what they offer is not news -- it is opinion. Everyone, of course, has a right to one. Just don't tell me what I should think - please give me both sides of the issue and let me make up my own mind, thank-you-very-much.
Did I mention I've all but given up watching the news on television?
And TV personalities are not the only ones who foster this offensive dialog (monologue?). Our public servants are just as bad, hurling insults and using scare tactics to earn our votes - we only have to look at one campaign ad to see how a race is going to be run. Each side always complains the other side is mud-slinging, but from where I'm sitting it looks like they're both down there wallowing in it.
I could go on giving more examples... the paparazzi... reality television... even Facebook and other internet sites! Somehow the perception is that it's okay to do or say whatever you want, even if it's hurtful and intrusive or even somewhat dangerous to other people. It's easy to put the blame on all these things too... these inanimate, faceless institutions. But Facebook isn't the problem... getting a picture of a celebrity isn't the problem... it's the manner in which those who do these things conduct themselves... without integrity, without concern for the feelings of others, maybe even for one's own feelings?
As I mentioned above, this topic is something I've been considering for some time. I'm not on a soapbox here, though it may sound like it. I just want to understand how we got to this place, and why it's okay with people. Should we let it go? Can we re-learn civility? Is being kind a weakness?
How do we cultivate kindness?
2 comments:
It's such a complicated issue isn't it?
Some could argue it's because we as a society don't value Stay At Home Parents enough, more women leaving their children in daycare and working....
But some of the rudest children I've been around lately, have SAHM's....
Have we gone overboard on the "everyone gets a trophy" philosophy to the point of not teaching our children humility and meakness?
Is it all about God? Have we not only taken Christ out of Christmas, and replaced him with Santa, but we've outsourced our spirituality all together?
Is it the bombardment of media? Or our lack of imiagination?
I don't think there is an easy answer to the question, how did we get here, or the much more difficult question, where do we go from here?
All I can do is make a conscious efforts to clean up my own life, try harder to be kind, teach it to my Granddaughter, and pray for the best.
Amen to that... I'm pondering how to cultivate it in my own life... hence the Part I. :-)
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