My Life as a Slug

Originally published: June 9, 2006


I feel like I should update my blog more often than I have been, so this topic is the first thing that came to mind tonight.

I really do feel like a slug. Every time I make any sort of movement, fast or slow, I feel like I'm leaving a slimy, slow trail behind me. TMI? Sorry... anyway...

The Walk really has been a saving grace to me. If not for it and my sisters-by-choice to keep me motivated I think I might be sitting on one of those tacky sofas trying to find my feet to stand while Extra or Entertainment Tonight does a pathetic story item on me. But it's not because I don't want to be active. I crave it, in fact, and have done everything I know to do to motivate myself. I love exercising, especially water aerobics and walking. Yet, I'm often either too tired or my body is too sore. Since chemo and my surgeries there are very few days that I get up and don't feel old. I mean really old, like arthritic-crippled old. It's been two years since the surgeries and a year and a half since the chemo ended. Shouldn't I feel "normal" by now?

Inside I do feel well -- I can tell the cancer is gone. Yet I'm carrying around this extra weight like a millstone 'round my neck and I'm having a devil of a time keeping it from piling on day by day. Is carrying around 50+ extra pounds what's keeping me from feeling sassy & free? "Cause honestly, it's been awhile since I felt even close to that. And don't even get me started on feeling desirable... that's a whole 'nuther blog!

So what can I do? I'm trying to be pro-active. I'm checking into health clubs. Some have more amenities, but you also pay for them -- a lot. Some have the basics and are affordable, but they're nothing special and may not keep me interested. Some are fun, and affordable but have inconvenient hours and only offer one type of exercise. What's the best choice? Which one am I going to stick with long-term and hopefully get some results?

While I'm looking into that, I'm also going to see a nutritionist. My diet is no where near perfect, though I pretty much know what I should and shouldn't eat. But I'm stubborn -- very stubborn when it comes to food. Plus, I'm not all together certain that the chemo and steroids haven't messed with my metabolism. I'm hoping that with a nutritionist we can come up with a food plan that I can really live with.

Sounds good, eh? But will it work?

Not exactly an upbeat blog tonight, but this is what is weighing (ha, ha... weighing... I'm such a card!) on my mind of late. I'm trying not to belabor the issue among my friends and family. Truly, I am blessed in so many other ways. But I don't even want to be as thin as Linday Lohan or Paris Hilton. I just want to be healthy!

On that note, time to go take my Zocor!